


Tattoos Are Not Scars

by spacialstars



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Angst, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rarepair, Secret Agent!Suguru Daishou, Tattoo Artist!Terushima Yuuji, Tattoos, there's also a cat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 02:02:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20107363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacialstars/pseuds/spacialstars
Summary: As a world-wide famous tattoo artist, only an old flame could tempt Terushima Yuuji back to Tokyo just to break his heart all over again. Now all he wanted was to go on with his life in peace.Suguru Daishou was a mistake.





	1. Smoke

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this two years ago for a collection of stories I was writing for a different universe. I've always wanted to upload it because it was one of my favorites so I finally revamped it to be able to be read alone.
> 
> The first chapter read in first person and the second in third. I don't know why I wrote it that way, I just did. Anyways, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Special thanks to my best friend S80.

It had been ages since I thought about high school. 

My adolescent memories were a blur. The faces had long ago faded to the backdrop of the soaked watercolor painting of my life. Sometimes I saw them vividly like flames against a night sky. Other times I felt like I was grasping the last wisps of smoke from fires long extinguished. 

What was I doing here?

The muted roar of a jet engine rumbled against the glass outlook. I watched as an airplane trundled onto the landing strip. Strangers milled past me. Their figures silhouetted sharply against the beautiful late-afternoon sun. 

A sparrow circled above.

I needed a cigarette.

The woman over the intercom announced the flight arrival from LA and it’s baggage claim destination. I stepped into the ocean of shadows and worked my way over to baggage claim B. 

I watched as faceless people descended the escalators and merged with the waiting arms of shadow people. The baggage belt started to move and people nudged past me to collect their belongings. 

I waited, unswayed. 

I almost missed him. Almost. Though it was impossible to miss Yuuji Terushima even after the five years we'd been apart.

I think he saw me first because the instant he was off the escalator he was in my arms. He smelled like bitter cinnamon. The leather of his jacket chilled my bare skin. 

Had he lost weight? 

He pulled back, smiling. “Kazuma, what are you doing here?”

I shrugged. “I thought you’d need a ride.”

He shifted his bag higher onto his shoulder, his smile faltered a bit. His fingers tapped the strap nervously. “I do, thanks.”

I was a bit thrown by the sudden change in his demeanor but pretended it was all the same. “Good. Do you have any other bags?”

“Just one.” He shrugged and headed towards the baggage belt. 

I followed after him, taking the time to notice the differences. His hair was still undercut and dyed blonde. He had let it grow out a bit until the back trickled down to touch the nape of his neck. Tattoos peeked from beneath his v-neck. I gazed down the familiar planes of his broad back. The same back I’ve been staring at for years.

He looked good. 

He was good, right?

I stepped beside him, trying not to stare. His foot tapped impatiently and his expression seemed far away. It was unsettling.

“You okay there?” I nudged him playfully and a bit too hard.

He flailed his arms dramatically and laughed. “I was trying to think of how I could get you to pay for dinner.”

“Me?” I pouted, dodging his punch aiming for my shoulder. “I’m not the one here that’s a celebrity. What did those magazines say? ‘A unique sense of perspective and style that will pave the way for all tattoo artists of this generation!’ Don’t be holding out on me, Yuu.”

“Oh, so you’ve been reading about me?” His smirk was predatory. There he is. “But whose fault was it that I had to come back to Japan in the first place?”

I sobered. His smile faltered and I couldn’t decide which hurt me more: his words or that face. The last time I saw that expression was when I asked him to be my best man.

We stood in silence again, watching the bags rumble by. He found his duffle and together we headed to the parking lot. He followed beside me silently. 

The air in the elevator was suffocating.

“Hey… Kazuma.” He spoke, his voice heavy with withheld inflection. “I’m sorry about Hana.”

I shook off the thoughts I was having about the colorful patch of skin I saw peek from beneath his sleeve and gripped the emptying pack of cigarettes in my pocket. Children had teddy bears and blankets. Adults had cigarettes and alcohol.

I waved his words away. “Don’t worry about it. What is it they say? We just need time apart.”

He was quiet again. I glanced over and just stared at the cut of his jaw. The shadows underneath the low lights sat heavy atop his collarbones. I wondered why he looked so far away when he was right there next to me. 

We got off the elevator and I nudged him as we walked towards my car. “Tell me about your work. You planning on doing any business while you’re here?”

He snorted. “Some fancy-pants celebrity wants to get his first ink. I was going to meet up with him later this week.”

“Wow,” I unlocked my sedan and got into the driver’s side. Yuuji heaved his pack in the back and got into the passenger's seat. I stared at him hard until he buckled his seatbelt. Some habits never die. “So who is it? Someone I know- Get your feet off my dash, please.”

“We both know him.” He rolled down his window and stuck his head out. I tried not to get distracted by the way the wind pushed his hair from his cheeks. “You remember Sawamura?”

“Daichi?” Of course I remembered him, I just couldn’t believe it. “I didn’t take him for the type who wanted tats. The tabloids are going to have a field day.”

“We both know Sawamura never gave a shit what us common-folk thought about him.”

I’ve heard many rants from my coworkers about Sawamura Daichi that said otherwise, but that was beside the point. “Didn’t you have a crush on him back in school?”

“Shut the fuck up, I thought we agreed never to speak about that again.” He cackled. I forgot how his breath caught when he laughed. “Besides, I was just surprised he remembered I existed.”

“Who could forget…” I mumbled just loud enough for him to hear. We drove out of the dark parking lot and headed into Tokyo. 

Yuuji excitedly pointed out the places he’s never seen before and bemoaned the fact that he’d have to relearn the city all over again. I tried to fall into his pace like we used to, but honestly I still couldn’t grasp where his head was at. 

“Where are you staying?” He asked suddenly.

I shrugged and motioned vaguely towards one of the high-rises. “I bought an apartment around the time Hana and I separated. It’s expensive, but I can’t find it in myself to go anywhere else.”

He whistled lowly. “You’re really doing well for yourself, Mr. Manager.”

“More or less. It’s not the job I saw myself in when I was seventeen, but I enjoy it.”

“I didn’t see myself as a tattoo artist when I was seventeen.” He quipped, but something in his tone pushed against my chest. 

I glanced over at him when we got to a stoplight. An odd expression was on his face again. His gaze met mine and a small glimmer of his old self danced in his eyes. “I guess in the end, life has a way of putting us where we’re supposed to be.”

I should look away. I should ignore it. 

I should kiss him.

He reached over, his fingers brushed along the fringe of my hair. 

“You need a haircut and a shave.”

Did the light turn green? Should I check?

I laughed loudly and mussed his hair, pushing him away and breaking the moment. “You’re creeping me out.” 

The light turned green.

He laughed. I pretended it wasn’t forced. “I guess I’m just tired. Maybe we should get take-out and bring it back to your place?”

The feeling was mutual. “Curry?”

“You know me too well. Hey, you know how I was obsessed with that sausage in a bun thing in high school? They have that stuff everywhere in America.”

“Not even surprised.”

“Americans are pretty serious about their hotdogs.” He snickered.

I felt like I was missing out on some joke. “Did you book a hotel? Maybe you can stay at my place.”

He didn’t even hesitate. “Nah, maybe not.”

A small part of me, that small little distant part, agreed.

At the next stoplight I lit a cigarette from my pocket and took a long drag. Yuuji raised and eyebrow, but said nothing. 

We picked up our curry and then headed over to my place. I led him through the plush lobby and up the fancy elevators to the twelfth floor. A big part of me prayed I cleaned up sometime earlier that week. What they don’t tell you about marriage-separation, was how easy it was to not take care of yourself. 

My room was more of a loft than an apartment. A short staircase led up to a single bedroom. Downstairs was a small kitchen connected to my cozy living area. Floor to ceiling windows opened the room up to the dark and glittering city beyond. The sun had just set, so it was the perfect time for the orange sunset to trace along the dark silhouette of the Tokyo skyline. Yuuji stood frozen in place within the doorway. His bags slumped to the plush carpet floor.

I laughed at his face. “You’re always so dramatic. Hurry up and get in. Our curry’s getting cold.”

“It’s just…” He let me push him aside towards the couch, ignoring his luggage. He can get them later. “I didn’t peg you for a guy with expensive tastes.”

I flicked on the lights and slumped beside him, then pulled over the coffee table and shoved his curry into his hands. “I’m not. I just… went a little nuts after we… yeah.”

“No wonder you don’t want to leave.” He scoffed, easily turning his attention and tucking into his curry like a madman. “I don’t blame you for going “nuts”. I think even I would take up smoking.”

“I didn’t start smoking because of Hana.” 

I felt like he was waiting for me to elaborate. I didn’t.

We fell into an easy silence. Eventually he got warm enough to remove his jacket. Beneath it he was wearing a loose graphic tank top revealing enough to give me the opportunity to finally admire his tats. 

I was right. He did lose weight, but mostly because he lost muscle. Actually, he looked very nice, he just wasn’t as fit as he used to be. Sort of like me. Both his arms were covered in colorful sleeves that trailed from his wrists and up over his shoulders. Another smaller tattoo of a flowering tree branch reached part of the way across his clavicle. When he turned away I saw the only tattoo I recognized nestled at the base of his neck. It was a grey-scale child holding a bright yellow balloon. I noticed some added details were made, such as the boy finally having a face and deep shadows worked into his clothing. On his shirt was the kanji for the word “harmony”. That was his first tattoo. The same day he got it was the first day Yuuji let me kiss him.

The longer I looked, the more I saw, and I knew it would take hours to truly see all of him.

He caught me staring, the predatory light was back. “One of these days you should let me give you one of these. I’d do it for free.”

“I’ve had enough of you putting your drawings on me.” I scoffed, “When I intentionally want to inflict unending pain and torture on myself I’ll let you know.”

He rolled his eyes, taking another spoonful of his curry. “And you say I’m the dramatic one. Can I at least cut your hair?”

“Your destructive fingers aren’t coming within three feet of me and my body.”

“That statement is a little redundant.” 

“Shut up, Yuuji.” I shoved at his face again. He laughed and swatted at my arm, nearly upending both of our food onto my carpet. His smile burned against me. 

We settled again after that, falling into our familiar banter. 

“So what have you been up to, now that you’re a free agent?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Found anyone new?”

“I’m separated, not divorced, dumbass. I can’t just go around sleeping with people.”

“My bad.” He laughed. “So you still love her?”

“Of course. I married her didn’t I?”

“You did.” He shook his head. “So you want her back.”

“It’s not that simple.”

He hummed. “I guess not...”

We spoke for awhile longer until I took both of our finished trays to the kitchen and returned with glasses and a bottle of wine.

I dimmed the lights and turned on a movie we’ve both watched before. 

I hoped the night wouldn’t end too soon.

What am I doing?

I knocked back the rest of my glass and glanced over to him, very aware of the mere centimeters between us. Yuuji was lounging against the armrest of my couch, slowly swishing his wine. He had been silent for the last few minutes, eyes on the screen, but I knew he wasn’t concentrating on the movie.

“What’s up?” He breathed without even looking my way.

Caught. I poured another glass. “I was just wondering when you became so thoughtful.”

He turned to me, brown eyes wide. “What do you mean?”

“You’re Mr. Tough-guy, nothing bothers you.” I shrugged. “I was wondering when your brain got so complicated.”

He smirked, his entire body shifted away from the screen. The cool glow flashed across his skin. “Maybe you just never noticed.”

I tried not to look away. “Maybe… Or maybe we’ve changed.”

Yuuji made an unimpressed noise. The one that used to make me want to punch him. “Did we?”

“You don’t think so?”

“Well… maybe a little... but I dunno. I think I’m still me, and you’re definitely still you.” He shrugged. 

“‘Definitely’ huh?” I mused into my glass. “So much has happened, I don’t think I even feel the same feelings.”

His next words came out a little bit like a whisper. “Don’t you?” He looked off again, falling quiet and for the hundredth time that night I felt like I lost him to the shadows. 

“Stop that.” I snapped.

“Stop what?”

“Stop looking like that. It doesn’t feel right.” It must be the alcohol talking. 

“My face… doesn’t look right…” His gaze narrowed back onto me as if he was seeing me for the first time, and he wasn’t happy about what he saw.

“No-”

“What are you even talking about anymore?”

“Yuuji,” I heaved a sigh. “That’s not what I meant to say. I just… don’t know what you’re thinking anymore. Where have you been?”

He stood up, his entire being alight. “I’ve been right here, Kazuma. Or haven’t you noticed?” 

“I have-”

He wasn’t listening anymore. “‘Where have you been?’ What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You were the one who called me all the way back here, remember? You were the one who fucked up your marriage. You were the one who told me it was best we remained friends, and that we would never work. You. Left. Me. Kazuma. So I’m sorry if my apparently uncontrollable emotions seem odd to you.”

“Yuu… Yuuji…” I felt numb and alive at the same time. “I didn’t know you still feel that way… about us.” 

“Good,” His grin had nothing but bitterness. Suddenly, I was afraid, “because it had been really hard to forgive you.”

I wanted to mute the television, but I was too scared to move at all. “And… have I been forgiven?”

“I knew I shouldn’t have come.”

Heavy silence.

“Why am I here, Kazuma?”

“I…” I breathed, my heart in my throat. “I don’t know, Yuuji.”

“Yeah you do. Say it.”

“I need you.”

He expression hardened. “You need me.” He repeated, the savageness dug into my shoulders.

But I pushed on. “I missed you...” 

No. Kazuma. Don’t let him see you break-

But apparently he was breaking first. “What about me? What about when I needed you?”

“I’m sorry.” I reached out and grasped his wrist hoping he’d understand through pure touch alone.

He didn’t shake me away.

“Will you listen to me?” My voice shook along with my racing heart. “Please?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

Despite myself I fought back the fond warmth blooming from my chest. “Yeah, I guess you are.” His hair was pulled back by sheer willpower and his chestnut eyes cut right through me. The line of his lips traced downwards in an uncharacteristic frown that I remembered seeing only in the worst days of his life. I hated seeing it now, and I hated being the one who put it there. He really hadn’t changed much, to tell the truth. If anyone had changed, it would probably be me. “Yuuji.”

He flinched.

I gripped his wrist tighter. “I think I still love you.”

“You “think”?” His other hand was fisted at his side.

“Yeah.” I searched his face. “And I called you all the way back from America, because I wanted to see you again.”

“You wanted to see if maybe I still loved you too.”

I gripped his wrist tighter. “Yeah. I guess that too.”

“What if I say no?”

That idea never occurred to me. To be honest I didn’t really think through much at all. “Please don’t.”

He scoffed and shook me off, sliding off the couch and stepping away. “Why are you doing this? Call your fucking wife, Kazuma.”

I almost didn’t understand him. “Call her? But why-?”

“You need to fix your marriage, that’s why.” He hissed, reaching for his jacket and heading for the door. “I am not here for you to “experiment” all over again. I am not some backup fuck while you reorganize your feelings and remember why you loved your wife in the first place.”

His hand was on the doorknob when I suddenly found myself vaulting from my place in the couch and smacking my palm into the door. “Stop! Where are you going?”

“To my hotel.” He replied almost viciously. “We both know me being here is not the best way for you to get back with Hana.”

“But what if I don’t want to be with Hana?” I insisted, all my inhibitions thrown out the window. “What if I want to be with you?”

He violently grabbed my shirt and slammed me against the door, baring his teeth. “I can’t do this again, Kazuma!”

I struggled against his grip. He loosened up, but he didn’t move away. I took that time to catch my breath and look at Yuuji long enough to see.

He had that expression again which I previously thought I understood as a mask of indifference. Being this close to him now showed me it was far from indifferent when the mask itself reflected distant memories. The life we had. The flames below the smoke.

The flames I had been desperately chasing.

“Then why are you here?” I breathed just before surging forward and fitting our lips firmly together. He didn’t even fight back and I wondered if deep down he knew this had been the inevitable outcome.

Sex was always easy with Yuuji, and it was easy now, even after all this time. Everything was familiar and I didn't know how much I actually needed him until he was slotted perfectly against me. Just where I wanted him.

When I finally got him in my bed, naked, and stretched out beneath me, I lost myself in his colors and his warmth. I felt like I could breathe again. I was alive and the world sharpened around me for the first time in years. The way his voice hitched and said my name. The feel of his nails running welts down my back. The taste of his skin even after my teeth had bruised the life out of it.

I wondered if his body remembered mine just as much as mine remembered his.

It was rough and desperate. When it was over, I let him push me off of him. He rolled away and curled into a ball at the edge of my bed. I spent the next minute wondering if he’d let me hold him or if he just wanted his space. 

“Yuuji.” I whispered into the darkness. His name floated over my sheets and sunk into his skin. Before I knew what I was doing, I was tracing the beautiful geometric design spanning across his back.

“Yeah?”

I honestly didn’t expect him to respond. My words caught in my throat and I had to force them from my mouth. “Will you stay?”

He shifted, curling in on himself.

I stopped touching him.

He rasped. “I don’t think so.”

“Why?”

Silence. I breathed deeply, if only to remind myself that time had not frozen.

In the end, I rolled over to my own side and fell asleep. The memory of his body outlined against the nighttime city lights etched itself into my heart.

So it was no wonder that when I woke the next morning, he was gone. Without a trace. Not even a kiss or a sock to remember him by. It was almost as if I imagined the entire thing. 

It was Sunday, and I had no place to be. I settled into my couch in his spot and turned on the television. Maybe the monotony of it other than the grayscale that is my life will help me forget. 

That was when I noticed the note on my coffee table. It was folded neatly into thirds and my name was scrawled in precise handwriting on the back with red ink. I’ve always teased Yuuji about his girly handwriting even though I secretly loved the way his pen slashed delicately through my name. 

I read it aloud mostly to convince myself this was real too:

“My dearest Kazuma.” I paused, trying to picture Yuuji calling me “dearest”. I laughed. What a bastard. “To answer your question truthfully, no I still haven’t forgiven you, and I probably never will. To answer your other question, I think I still love you too which sucks because that would be just typical don't you think?

I have decided it’s best we don’t see each other anymore, at least until you figure your shit out. Maybe one day we’ll see each other again. Maybe not. As I said, life knows what’s best for us, and it’ll put is in the place we need to be. If we do, by some miracle meet, hopefully next time we’ll be different people and maybe then I can forgive you. Both for what you’ve done to me five years ago and what you’ve done to me last night. 

Good luck with your marriage. I’ll see you later.

Love,  
Yuuji Terushima.”

I laughed through the tears running down my cheeks and cursed my bad luck. In the end, I guess I got exactly what I deserved.

I reached beneath my seat cushions for my stash and tapped a new cigarette into my palms. It lit easily. I took a long drag just so I could watch the smoke drift artfully above my head. I thought about Yuuji. 

I thought about the flames I’d been chasing and the smoke I found instead.

I thought about the future.

Finally, I thought about Hana…


	2. Windows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small warning for brief mentions of alcohol, kidnapping, sex-trafficking, the rape-drug Rohypnol, terrorism, guns and scars. Nothing explicit, I just thought it was worth mentioning. If you think I should put these things in to the tags please let me know.
> 
> I wrote this in two nights when I was supposed to be packing for my study abroad trip in Japan. I still blame S80. She was also the one who commissioned the art from @aurigae_arts literally years ago back in 2016 as one of the best Christmas gifts I've ever received. Auri if you're reading this thank you so much. It's so gorgeous and I'm just happy more people can enjoy it now that I've decided to post it.

When Yuuji returned to Tokyo, he didn’t think he would decide to stay. Too many memories floated around, and too many people knew him. But it was home.

Once the last of his customers left his shop around the 11 o’clock mark he flipped the sign around on the front door and closed the blinds. The night was still young, but he’d be damned if he gets another nightmarish last-second walk-in.

Rintarou looked up from the night edition. Tonight’s headline was stressing the importance of keeping safe when going out at night. Apparently five missing people was enough for the police to finally start to panic.

Open work portfolios remained scattered around the desk in front of him. “You’d probably get more business if you stayed open past midnight, you know.”

Yuuji sighed and smiled helplessly though they both knew he was anything but. “I get so tired, Rintarou. Too many people want me these days.”

“Maybe you should take a vacation?” Rintarou supplied dryly.

“Nice try.” Yuuji shifted the portfolios back into their uniform space at the edge of the desk. “Do I have anything scheduled for tomorrow?”

The secretary flipped quickly through a calendar and skimmed the page. “Mr. Sawamura is coming by for his final colorings. Other than that you’re free. Why? Got plans?”

“Not really.” Yuuji shrugged. “Just making conversation. I’m gonna clean and close up. Can you take the trash on your way out?”

“Sure. See you tomorrow.”

“See ya.”

Yuuji meandered to his private workstation at the front of the shop and made sure his inking guns were properly cleaned. He then swept for the hundredth time that day and then clicked the lights off. At the back of his shop were stairs that he climbed up to his modest studio apartment. He left it dark, allowing the lone streetlight to cast through his narrow dirty windows and pool along his unmade mattress and spotless kitchenette. The sounds of the city sounded distant.

Yuuji tossed his keys into the basket by the door without sparing a glance at his unopened mail. Whistling brightly, he headed towards his bathroom for a quick shower.

He went through the usual routine and pulled on his tightest pair of jeans and tank. His leather coat was an object of both comfort and necessity.

The early autumn air bit at the tips of his ears as he trudged along the lively midnight streets. He breathed into his hands and rubbed at his arms. The nights have been getting colder and soon he’d have to worry about whether he should wear more layers for his late-night outings.

Luckily, his usual haunt was only a fifteen minute’s walk from his apartment and the bouncer knew him well enough to wave him right in. His eyes adjusted to the darkness and the strobing lights. Musical bass thrummed against his core.

Yuuji handed his coat to the collector at the door and then headed straight for the bar. “Hey, Jino. How’s the crowd tonight?”

“Damn crazy!” The bartender’s voice carried easily. He flipped a few shot glasses into a row and filled them with a practiced ease. “That new DJ is amazing.”

“So I’ve heard.” Yuuji leaned against the bar and squinted out over the mass of writhing bodies to the raised platform where the DJ was bobbing to his own intense beat. Yuuji couldn’t see his face but he was just some kid thinking he was top shit. “Personally, I wish he had more variety.”

The bartender’s pot belly jiggled as he laughed. “Shouldn’t fix what isn’t broken. So what would you like?”

Yuuji waved vaguely. “Just give me the usual.”

He nodded and eventually handed Yuuji straight vodka in a glass. Yuuji knocked it back and tried not to pull a face as the alcohol burned down his throat and warmed his chest.

Yuuji made a big show of slamming the glass to the bar and turning around to face the mass. He leaned back against the barstool, not afraid to stretch his legs and reveal his mid-drift just a little bit. The colors of his tats glowed against the blacklight. Already he could feel a sheen of sweat cooling against his cropped scalp and trickle down the nape of his neck. He knew how he looked. Dangerous. Mysterious. Fun. Sexy. And maybe just a little bit desperate for a good fuck, but Yuuji didn’t want to admit to that last part.

A haze of smoke coated the dance floor and scattered the lights against dark walls and sweaty bodies. He yearned to merge into that thirsty monster of anonymity and carnal desire; but he knew waiting would be much more worth it.

“Hey there.” Bingo. “I can tell you need someone to show you a good time.”

Yuuji cringed inwardly. He craned his neck to examine the handsome man leaning against the bar in the seat next to him. He was foreign, bald and his shirt was buttoned up one too many. Yuuji had never made-out with a bald man before. Maybe it’ll be fun.

Yuuji narrowed his eyes and smiled his best “dangerous smirk”. “Oh, really?”

“Really.” He leaned in. Yuuji was hyper-aware of his bitter cologne and the arm already sliding behind him on the bar.

“What else can you tell.” Yuuji held his ground but moved his hand to rest on the other man’s knee. Muscular. Nice.

The man licked his lips. “You want to get lost.”

Yuuji mimicked him, making sure his tongue piercing glided against his own lips. “That’s a funny way of putting it.”

He got the satisfaction of hearing the hitch in the man’s breath and watched his pupils widen. “Let’s dance.”

“Sure.” Yuuji allowed the nameless man to grab his hand and escort him into the mass. They pushed through the couples until they weren’t on the outskirts of the crowd and immediately pressed together. Yuuji’s back against his front.

Yuuji knew how it worked. They were going to grind and push and tease each other until they forget that they were practically strangers and started making out in the middle of the floor. Maybe when they got tired he’ll get another free drink out of it. Or if he’s lucky, he’ll find a few new partners and by the end of the night Yuuji will be able to leave the club with no strings attached.

The man’s hands were large and rough against his waist. He had a surprisingly good sense of rhythm and a very sure set of hips that were nearly sinful as he grinded against Yuuji’s backside. Yuuji could tell he was semi-hard, but couldn’t find it in himself to care. By the third mix, Yuuji was craning his neck back into a full-on kiss. He was right, it was fun making out with someone who was bald, though maybe his lack of hair had nothing to do with it.

What felt like an hour later - but was probably twenty minutes in - the man finally spoke to him. The voice that rasped into his ear sent shivers down his spine, “God you’re sexy. Another drink?”

“Sure, if it’s on you.”

“Of course.”

The man led Yuuji out back to the bar and ordered their drinks; three each. Yuuji took that time to breathe and compose himself a bit. Already his hair was a mess and since when was his belt unbuckled?

A shot glass was suddenly in his hand and by reflex he knocked it back like a pro. He dropped it and switched to the next one, and then the next. He hardly noticed the burn.

Just as Yuuji was dropping the last glass he noticed the man was laughing. “You’re a freak of nature!”

Yuuji shrugged, already feeling the effects of the alcohol but trying not to show it. “I guess I learned a thing or two from American frat parties.”

“Amazing.” He wheezed. “You ready to go back? I think the DJ is really pumped up tonight.”

Yuuji made a face but chose not to comment. “Sure. I still have a lot of energy to spare.”

His heart thumped erratically by the excited look in the man’s face. He could feel the man’s hand wrap around his waist.

“Good.”

This time they didn’t even bother with the foreplay and went straight to making-out and humping each other, which was weird because he couldn’t even remember when they got back onto the dance floor. In some distant corner of his brain, alarm bells were ringing but they were drowned out by the confusion with wondering when he said it was okay for the man’s hands to be so far up his chest and down in his pants.

This wasn’t right. Yuuji never let it get this far.

But then he was in a dark room lying on what felt like a cheap couch. The bass of the music distant and the voices around him confusing. He felt hands on his legs, his arms, his chest-

“Hey don’t worry, I don’t think anyone saw us…”

That’s the man’s voice. He was speaking english.

Where was his shirt...?

Someone slapped his face, but it didn’t sting. Said something else.

“Yeah sorry. I didn’t expect him to be a lightweight…”

Yuuji blacked out.

He re-awoke in the dark, groggy and warm all over. The music around him was calmer and Yuuji knew that the club was closing for the night. He should be getting home… Where was the guy…? What was his name…?

A door slammed nearby. He winced as the noise pounded against an oncoming headache. Someone’s hand was cool but gentle against his forehead. Yuuji tried to catch what the person was saying but it felt like he was listening from underwater… Insistent tugging on his arms…

“What an idiot…”

+++

He woke up in a hospital and immediately vomited over the side of the bed.

“Shit, man. You okay?”

Yuuji gasped, clutching at a pounding headache and wincing around a bright room. It was small and sectioned off by a curtain. Another man was standing off to the side eyeing him with disgust. Yuuji had never seen him before in his life.

“Who the fuck are you?” Yuuji spat through the bile in his mouth.

The man raised an eyebrow but didn’t get a chance to respond because it was then that a nurse hurried in. She tutted at the mess on the floor. She coaxed the other man to the other side of the bed so she could clean it up.

Yuuji watched him warily while taking a moment to assess his situation. Obviously, this was “the morning after” and he was in a hospital with no way of knowing why. Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

He swallowed. “What happened?”

The man was about to speak again but the nurse beat him to it. “You’ve been dosed with Rohypnol and we decided to keep you here overnight to let it clear from your system. The doctor will see you in a bit and once he’s given you the “okay”, you can go; though the police might have a few questions for you.”

Fuck. Yuuji dropped his head into his hands. He’d heard of Rohypnol and had a few friends in college who’d been at the wrong end of it. How could he be so stupid? He was almost afraid to ask…

“Did… Did anything else happen?”

A short silence. He looked up to see the nurse finishing up. She smiled and wiped his face gently with a warm towel. “You were lucky, Mr. Terushima.”

“I’ll say.” The guy snorted.

Yuuji turned around and glared at the stranger, finally taking a moment to fully look at him. He was slim and just as tall as he was. Nothing he wore stood out to Yuuji, but the man himself was far from unassuming. He was relaxed despite the situation and he had an air about him that screamed: “better than you”, and that tore at Yuuji’s already frayed nerves. He was a brunette who apparently cared a lot about his hair. It was styled to lay nicely at the back and then fluffed carelessly over his forehead. His eyes were so slitted, Yuuji wondered if it was on purpose or if he was just born that way. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

The stranger’s smirk rivaled his own. “Just a concerned party. See ya.”

Before Yuuji could say anything else, the stranger was slipping out the curtains and was gone. The nurse gaped after him, grasping nervously at her clipboard. “He said he was your boyfriend.”

“He what?” Yuuji yelped.

She nodded her head, suddenly very concerned. “He was the one who brought you in so I didn’t suspect anything and I didn’t want to question it but… I apologize Mr. Terushima. This must have been horribly uncomfortable for you.”

Yuuji shook his head, more tired than angry at this point. “Don’t worry about it. Did you say you kept me overnight? What time is it?”

“8 am. Do you need to make a phone call?”

“Please.”

+++

“Shit, you look like hell.”

Yuuji climbed into the passenger’s seat of his friend’s car, shirtless and a little more than pissed off. “Thanks.”

Rintarou veered his car back into traffic. “Sorry, I’m just surprised. What happened to you?”

Yuuji bit back an especially cruel response and instead focused on not vomiting all over his friend’s dashboard. “I just spent the last hour talking to the police. I don’t really feel like reliving it again.”

The other man nodded as if he understood.

Yuuji closed his eyes and leaned back into the cool leather seat. “Would you mind if we make a stop before we get to the shop? Don’t worry, it’s on the way.”

“Sure.”

Yuuji directed him to the club he was at the night before. In the daylight the place was quite the piece of shit. The blackened windows made it look rundown and deserted. It was quiet, but Yuuji knew the owner would still be up and about.

They knocked and waited until the bartender finally answered the door. “Mr. Terushima! You’re okay!”

“Well,” Yuuji laughed helplessly. “More or less.”

“Shit, it’s cold out! Hang on we still got your coat. Come inside.” He was coaxed through the door, Rintarou following just after.

“Thanks Jino.” Yuuji accepted his coat from the bartender and shrugged it on. The familiar warmth comforted him a bit. “Sorry for the trouble.”

“No! You shouldn’t be the one who’s sorry!” The bartender clapped him on the shoulder. “You gave us a scare. Thank goodness Tomo found you, or who knows what would’ve happened.”

Yuuji picked up the name immediately. “Tomo?”

“The DJ. Around closing time he came dragging you out from the back room unconscious. He said you needed to get to the hospital right away and took you himself.”

Hearing this, Yuuji felt a bit ashamed. He remembered how he snapped at the stranger earlier that morning and wished he wasn’t such an ass. “Can you thank him for me the next time you see him? I didn’t get a chance.”

“I wish I could!” Jino shook his head. “He called this morning and quit. Said he found another job.”

“Another job? Where?” The words came out before he could stop them.

The bartender shrugged. “No idea. I don’t make it my business to ask.”

Yuuji tried not to feel disappointed and thanked Jino for his coat before leaving with a silent Rintarou in tow. His friend waited until they were in the car before he said anything and even then it was only to ask where they were going next.

“Home.” Yuuji was always thankful for Rintarou’s concern, but even more thankful that he knew when not to ask questions. “Did you cancel my appointment with Sawamura?”

“Yeah. He sounded kind of disappointed. You doing something stupid I should know about?” Rintarou joked halfheartedly.

“You caught me. Sawamura is crazy about my dick and we were planning to have hot semi-public sex today.”

“Okay, stop please. He was just wondering if tomorrow would be okay to reschedule.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Yuuji sighed, settling back into the seat, “and don’t worry. Sawamura might just be worried it wouldn’t be done by his anniversary. Seven years. Can you believe that?”

“I didn’t even know he was dating someone.”

Yuuji bit his tongue but then he realized it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like Rintarou cared enough about celebrities to sell the story. “Japan’s best-kept secret.”

They arrived at his tattoo shop, “Tattoo Playground”, where Nobuyoshi was trying and failing to set up an appointment with a young teenage girl who seemed to want her bellybutton pierced. Yuuji liked the guy, he really did, but would it hurt to smile?

Rintarou hurried to his side to take over the books while Yuuji trudged past Takeharu’s and Katsumichi’s workstations. Neither of them were really working and Yuuji was inwardly relieved that business wasn’t busy that day. They waved as he passed on his way up the staircase to his apartment.

It was exactly as he left it the night before and somehow that comforted Yuuji. He tossed his coat to the counter by the door and wriggled out of his jeans. Curling beneath the covers of his bed was the best decision he made all day and he promised himself he’ll never move again.

Four hours later he was awoken by the smell of buttered toast and the feel of his own stomach eating itself alive. He groaned, wincing against the hammer currently shattering his skull.

“Figured you’d be hungry. We’re closing the shop up early tonight.” Rintarou’s voice was way too close. “You should fix your lock by the way.”

“Locking the shop is fine.” Yuuji burrowed deeper in his pillows, escaping from the muted sunlight slanting through his windows.

“You should also get shades. You’ll probably sleep better.”

“Leave me alone, Rintarou.”

“Alright, I’ll leave this here then. You need anything else?”

“Nah, thanks man. I’ll be alright.”

Yuuji waited until he hears his front door close before he uncurled from his bed sheets. He looked over the side of his mattress and smiled fondly at his friend’s attempt at a meal. It wasn’t much, but it was perfect for his unsettled stomach. He then glanced around for his television remote and settled himself for a long evening in.

By eight he was already sick of the mindless reality shows. He surfed a bit before finally settling on the news. Apparently the mass kidnapping case had been solved the night before with a massive sex trafficking ring being shut down in “one dramatic move by the police and the brave detectives involved with the case”. The reporter explained that, based on victim testimony, the kidnapped individuals were first drugged, then kidnapped. None of them remembered much about their night other than being first at a club, and then suddenly kidnapped and kept in a mysterious place. Sold individuals are still considered missing.

A small sense of dread and a little bit of relief fell over Yuuji as he thought about his situation the night before. Was he really about to get kidnapped…? He thought about the man and the ease in which he was drugged and caught. He then thought about the faceless voices and the feel of their hands against his skin. He wondered why they didn’t just take him when they had a chance. He thought about the stranger that saved him.

He needed a shower.

+++

When Yuuji woke early the next morning and though he still couldn’t shake the dread of his narrow miss with disaster the two nights before, he decided he felt well enough for work and was even looking forward to Sawamura’s appointment. Though his crush had always remained unrequited, Yuuji was quite proud of his growing friendship with Sawamura.

Rintarou arrived just after Yuuji opened the shop. “Feeling better?”

“Yep. Thanks to you!” Yuuji grinned, passing him a cup of coffee.

The other man rolled his eyes, settling into his spot behind the counter. Takeharu and Nobuyoshi arrived together a few minutes later.

Takeharu glared at him but otherwise didn’t say anything (which was quite adorable). Nobuyoshi reminded him that next time maybe he shouldn’t go partying alone. He then passed him a bag of pastries Takeharu apparently baked the night before. “Don’t tell him I gave them to you.”

Yuuji laughed, looking into the package. Ooh, macarons. “Thanks Nobu. Give him a big kiss for me.”

Nobuyoshi shoved him lightly before heading to his own station. “Don’t worry, I will.”

Yuuji watched after both of them fondly.

Later that day Sawamura arrived thirty minutes early and alone for a change. Usually he brought along one of his bandmates, but since the last time he brought Bokuto, they both agreed it was one of the worst ideas he had ever had.

“Terushima!” He greeted warmly, though his smile was hesitant. “I’m sorry for rescheduling so soon after you recovered. Are you really feeling okay?”

Yuuji smirked. “Aww, Sawamura. Thank you for caring.”

“Of course I care!” Sawamura stammered, expression stubborn.

Yuuji snickered, leading him through his shop and over to his private workstation. He closed the door and settled into his chair next to the leather recliner. He was setting up his inks when he noticed the other man was just staring at him.

Yuuji blinked, still in mid-motion. “What’s up?”

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Oh my god, Sawamura. I’m fine, really. Now strip and get your hot little ass in my chair.”

He rolled his eyes and started slipping off his jeans. Since the tattoo was supposed to be a surprise, Sawamura has been going out in jeans for the past couple weeks. After their first session, they made a pact that it wasn’t awkward at all for Sawamura to only be in his boxers.

Not that Yuuji minded in the first place.

“Has it been causing you any problems?” Yuuji rubbed his gloved hand over the area from ankle to knee.

“Nah, just a little itchy.”

“Good, it seems to be healing pretty nicely. You ready to get started?”

“When you are.”

It didn’t take long for Yuuji to redo the stencil and fall into his familiar rhythm. He was lost in thought, thinking about lunch and the thickness of a line when Sawamura finally spoke up. Yuuji always admired how well Sawamura took pain and he heard no evidence of discomfort in his voice. “So hey, are you seeing someone right now?”

Yuuji glanced upwards before resuming his work. “Not really, and I’m not looking.”

“Oh.” He sounded a bit disappointed.

Yuuji raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were taken.”

“Oh, no this isn’t for me!” Sawamura corrected frantically. “I was asking for… someone else…”

Yuuji gawked up at the man. “You’re setting me up?”

“Sort of?”

“No thanks.” He resumed his work.

“Yeah, okay...”

“What brought this on? I didn’t realize we were at this stage of our friendship.”

To Sawamura’s credit he sounded a little ashamed of himself. “Well, you know how Koushi and I are having our anniversary barbeque in a couple weeks? You’re invited by the way.”

“Thanks. How kind of you.”

“Shut up, it was Koushi’s idea. Anyways, Tetsu was inviting one of his old buddies who just came back from working overseas. He’s single, so Ko and I made a bet-”

“Sawamura,” Yuuji made sure to sound thoroughly scandalized. “Are you whoring me out to a stranger for a bet?”

He flushed. “I-I just thought, since you’re single and he’s single-”

“Sure, sure.” Yuuji smirked. “So what exactly does this bet entail?”

“Uhm,” Sawamura hesitated. Yuuji stopped working, knowing how much it stresses the other man out. Sawamura was the type to get things over and done with, so he never takes breaks even when he was in a lot of pain. “Ko bet he could bring a better date than I could for Tetsu’s friend. So the person Tetsu’s friend likes the most is the winner…”

Yuuji hummed. “So not only am I doing you a favor, but I have to compete with someone else? Low, Sawamura. Real low.”

“Will you do it or not?”

Yuuji sighed dramatically, pretending to think for a long moment before resuming his work. “Fine, if it means so much to you.”

“Really?” Sawamura laughed. “Great! … Yeah...”

Yuuji nodded, pursing his lips over a particularly tricky shade of green. He mindfully did a short inventory of his wardrobe and decided to go shopping that night. Should he also bring a gift? He should bring a gift.

“Hey, Yuuji?”

“Hmm?”

“I really do hope you’ll have a good time.”

Yuuji laughed, waving him off. “Oh don’t worry. If I know anything about your little ragtag family, I’m going to have the time of my life. Date, or no date.”

A fifteen minute break and two hours later, Yuuji was proudly saran-wrapping what he declared was one of his best pieces to-date. He lead Sawamura back out to his waiting area where he gives Yuuji a big bear-hug before reminding him of the party date and time.

Rintarou smirked at him after Sawamura finally exited the shop. “Got a date?”

“Yep.” Yuuji tossed out a peace sign. “Sawamura wants to try a threesome. It was originally Suga’s idea, so I can’t be blamed for this one.”

“You know, one of these days someone is going to overhear your stupidity and believe you.”

“When that happens, let me know. I wanna look good for the tabloids.”

+++

Two weeks later, Yuuji was climbing up the front steps of the band’s residence. Tooru Oikawa, always the magnificent host, was the one to answer the door. Yuuji felt Oikawa’s judgemental examination of his outfit. Yuuji was sure to send him his best cock-sure smirk.

Which was blatantly ignored. “Terucchi!” Yuuji fought a wince. Don’t let him see you squirm. “It’s been a long time! How was America?”

“Great.” He responded through gritted teeth.

“Good to hear! Come on in.” Oikawa gracefully stepped aside and closed the door just after Yuuji followed him in. He was pulled to a table where they were keeping gifts and was coaxed by the “host” to add his name to the register. A beer was then placed into his hands before Oikawa skipped off. “Enjoy the party!”

Yuuji glared after him and genuinely hoped they won’t see each other again for the rest of the afternoon.

He wandered through the modest home following voices until he was stepping into the kitchen that was also connected to the open living room area. People Yuuji only recognized from magazines and online tabloids loitered around in small groups, calling out to each other as if they haven’t seen each other for years; and maybe for some, they haven’t. Oikawa was humming over a steaming pot in the kitchen. In the living room was a giant flatscreen television where Kuroo and Bokuto were shouting expletives at each other over a video game. It looked like a lot of fun, but Yuuji wasn’t sure he wanted to join in.

Where was Sawamura?

Someone clapped his shoulder. It was Sugawara, his wry grin calmed him somewhat. “You came! Daichi and I were worried you’d change your mind.”

Yuuji rubbed the back of his neck nervously, not sure what to do with Sugawara being so close. He really was as pretty as every movie critic said he was. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Of course! Daichi is out back if you’d like to help him set-up. We’re sort of running behind schedule, sorry.”

Yuuji nodded and navigated through the room to head out the glass doors and into the spacious backyard. To Yuuji’s immense surprise, the backyard was gorgeous. Green grass and flowering bushes lined a pebbled pathway that created a square-like pattern around a stone patio. A greenhouse sat in the far corner of the yard next to another building which looked like an extra garage.

Sawamura was dropping ribs over a grill downwind from the patio. Ushijima was sitting nearby, watching silently. Tables and chairs were already set up beneath a tent that was staked and spanned over the patio.

“Hey, Terushima you made it!” Daichi called and motioned him over.

Yuuji succumbed to his fate, carefully taking the path over to the two men. Daichi hugged him and then introduced him to Ushijima. Yuuji was once again reminded of whose house he was actually in and tried not to get starstruck.

“Did you just get here?”

Yuuji nodded. “Sugawara said you might need help?”

“Nope.” Daichi shrugged. “But you can hang around if you like. We’re almost done.”

Ushijima pulled over a chair. They both watched as Daichi flipped the ribs and added a few more cuts. Yuuji could hear the birds just over the party going on inside.

“You did Daichi’s tattoo.” Ushijima’s voice pulled his attention from the butterfly fluttering amongst the nearby petunias. “Do you have a lot of your own tattoos?”

Yuuji was a bit taken aback but he nodded, pulling up his shirt-sleeves. “I’ve got sleeves on both arms, one on my back, and a few here and there.”

Ushijima eyed his arms intently. “Those are beautiful. I don’t think I’d be able to do that.”

“You want tattoos?”

“Not really.” Ushijima broke contact from Yuuji’s arms, allowing him to fix his sleeves back over his arms. “I wouldn’t know what to get. Tsutomu wants one though.”

“His boyfriend,” Sawamura supplied before Yuuji could ask.

“Oh.” Yuuji fiddled with his sleeve button. “Why doesn’t he just get it then?”

“It’s not that simple.”

Sawamura snorted, but didn’t say anything. Yuuji sensed this was just a small piece of an argument he didn’t want to be a part of.

He changed the subject. “So where’s this mystery guy you were setting me up with?”

“Tetsurou said he’s coming a little late, maybe around lunch time. Why? Nervous?”

Yuuji scoffed. “I just thought I needed to at least meet the guy to win you your bet.”

“Oh don’t worry, the bets off.” Sawamura skipped back as the fire flared up beneath a particularly greasy slice. “Kotarou’s guy cancelled at the last minute. He’s all your’s.”

“Oh… great.” Yuuji thought about that for a second, trying to come to terms with the fact that now he was legitimately being set up for a blind date.

Ten minutes later Yuuji heard Sugawara call for everyone to get outside for lunch. Sawamura motioned for him to take a seat next to him and Ushijima.

Sugawara smiled at him before kissing Sawamura on the cheek and sitting at the head of the table. “Have you met anyone yet? Do you want me to introduce you?”

“No thanks-”

“Hey everyone, this is Daichi’s friend, Yuuji Terushima. Say hi!”

Yuuji blushed under their cheers and greetings. Bokuto slapped him on the back and offered a toast no one agreed to. Sawamura called for everyone to fill their plates and Yuuji was pushed to the back amidst the sudden struggle to get to the front of the line.

“Hey, Terushima.” Kuroo tapped his back. Yuuji, who was already overwhelmed, tried not to jump. “I wanted to introduce you to someone. This is my friend, Suguru Daishou.”

Kuroo reached behind him and pulled forward a man that looked familiar to Yuuji.

Incredibly familiar.

“You!” Yuuji stepped back, dimly aware he was pointing and being rude. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

Suguru Daishou raised a primed eyebrow, a snide smile pulled across his lips. “That’s so sweet, but sorry I don’t believe in love at first sight.”

“What? No! We’ve already met!” Yuuji flailed his arms. “You… You saved my life!”

The stranger frowned and stared at him for what seemed like forever. Kuroo watched his friend, stunned, but otherwise silent, as if waiting for Daishou to make the first move.

The “stranger”, Daishou, swallowed. He was glancing around him as if he was seeing the place for the first time. It seemed to take everything in him to bring back that smile and then he was offering a handshake as if nothing happened. Kuroo relaxed.

“Yeah, I remember you now. Mr. Trouble.”

Yuuji worked to keep his cool. “I’m not always in trouble, you know.”

“Of course not.”

“You two will be okay sitting together?” Kuroo fidgeted. “I gotta help Kenma.”

Daishou answered before Yuuji could. He smiled sweetly, though Yuuji wasn’t fooled. “We’ll be fine. It was just a small misunderstanding.”

Kuroo wasn’t convinced either. “Alright, if you say so.”

He left them standing awkwardly beside each other at the back of the line. Yuuji tried to think of something to say, but once again Daishou got there first. “So what do you do, Mr. Terushima?”

The question was terribly polite, but Yuuji still didn’t trust that smile. “I’m a tattoo artist.”

“Really? Are you good?”

Yuuji spoke through his teeth. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t. You’re a DJ, right?”

“Sometimes.” He shrugged, picking lint out of his emerald button-up. Is that silk? “Actually, I’m a music producer.”

Yuuji made a face and tried distracting himself by loading rice onto his plate. A producer. Of course he was a producer, he knows Kuroo and Daichi and probably every person here.

They didn’t speak anymore while they filled their plates. Yuuji retook his seat beside Ushijima and was dismayed when Daishou sat on the other side of him. Sawamura waved from the front of the table. Yuuji waved back, trying to convey all the sarcasm he felt.

He was listening to Ushijima trying to convince Sawamura that they absolutely needed to adopt a kitten when Daishou spoke up again. He was close, his breath warmed against the inside shell of his ear and Yuuji forced down an involuntary shudder. “You see those two over there?”

Yuuji followed his nod to the other table and eyed the two men watching Oikawa challenge Iwaizumi to a milk-drinking contest. “What about them?”

Daishou smirked, his tongue pressing cheekily between his lips. “They’re totally banging.”

Yuuji choked. “What?”

“Yep, definitely banging.” Daishou pretended to helpfully thump his back. Yuuji looked back at the two men. At first glance they were unassuming, one black-haired and the other a light brunette.

Yuuji shrugged off his hand. “How do you know?”

“Well,” Daishou leaned in again. Yuuji fought the urge to back away. It wasn’t like he was disgusted by him. Actually it was the opposite. He’d be blind not to admit that Suguru Daishou was handsome and just the right amount of mysterious. It’s just that every other part of Yuuji was screaming at him to run away. Right now. Before he did something stupid. “I just know.”

“Are you fucking with me?”

Daishou gasped. “Why on Earth would I want to do that?”

“You tell me.” Yuuji attacked his salad aggressively. “We just met, how am I supposed to know how you think?”

“We talk.” Something in his voice nagged at Yuuji’s attention. Something raw. “Isn’t that how dates work? We get to know each other?”

“This isn’t a date.”

“Oh… it’s not?”

“Nope.” Yuuji couldn’t understand the other man’s frown but plowed on. “That would imply I was attracted to you.”

He inched away and Yuuji inwardly cheered. “You’re not?”

“I’m not attracted to assholes.” He lied.

“Even when they’re sexy, single, and want your number?”

Yuuji tried and failed to not laugh. “I think the asshole part sort of negates all the rest. You want my number?”

“Yeah, of course. You don’t want mine?”

“I think we’ve just established that I’m not attracted to you.”

He pouted and turned to pick at his mashed potatoes. “You don’t have to be attracted to someone to want to get their number…”

Yuuji rolled his eyes and ignored him for the rest of their meal. It was later in the afternoon when Yuuji was a little tipsy and Bokuto was challenging Nishinoya to a wrestling match when Sawamura was tapping his glass with his dessert spoon.

Everyone quieted and turned their attention to their host. Sawamura stood while holding Sugawara’s hand. The sight of the two smiling at each other was enough to give Yuuji cavities. Beside him he felt Daishou lean forward excitedly as if he wasn’t just having an intense conversation with Kuroo just seconds before.

Sawamura cleared his throat. “As you know, for the past month or so Terushima has been kind enough to agree to work with me on a tattoo as a gift to Koushi on our anniversary-”

“Get on with it, Daichi!”

Sawamura glared at his friend but really did get on with it. His face burning, he dragged a stool over next to Sugawara that was high enough so everyone could see the big reveal. Even though he knew what it looked like, Yuuji was still both excited and nervous to see Sugawara’s reaction.

“Close your eyes.” Sawamura stammered. Sugawara giggled and made a big show of covering his face. Oikawa skipped over to add his hands over his, declaring he wouldn’t tolerate any cheating in his house.

The entire party waited with bated breath as Sawamura slowly lifted the right leg of his jeans over his knee. Though they all saw it, no one said a word. The surprise wasn’t for them after all.

“Okay, you can look now.”

Sugawara’s reaction was totally worth waiting for the past month and a half. Yuuji gazed fondly over his work and decided once again that it was definitely one of his crowning achievements.

Painted in warm spring colors was a bench nestled along the edge of a field, amidst overgrown wildflowers of lavender and gold. Two people were seated and resting against each other as they looked out towards a sparkling lake full of ducks and swans.

The tattoo itself was bordered by the shade of a giant oak tree forever swaying in the breeze. Yuuji’s practiced eye marked every tiny shade and nuance that went into every little detail. He felt nostalgic and remembered when Sawamura first showed him the photograph of that spot.

“This is where I first told him I loved him…”

“Incredible.” Daishou whispered so softly, Yuuji wasn’t sure he heard correctly. He turned to find that Daishou was no longer looking at Sawamura, but at him. “You did that?”

“Yeah… Do you like it?” Yuuji didn’t know what possessed him to ask, but he did.

“Absolutely.” Daishou smiled, his narrow eyes crinkling at the corners and for once, Yuuji knew it was genuine. “You’re really talented.” Looking back, Yuuji wondered if that was the moment he had fallen for Suguru Daishou.

Yuuji didn’t get a chance to respond because in the next second Sugawara was pulling him into a hug that lasted a little longer than necessary. He was then followed by Sawamura who was too busy not-crying to say anything more than a “thank you”. Nishinoya was screaming something and Kuroo called for another round of beers. Bokuto got in a toast that no one listened to but cheered for anyways.

By the end of the afternoon, Yuuji was sure he was introduced to every soul at that barbeque, including the two men Daishou mentioned who were indeed, much to his chagrin, dating. Speaking of, where was that guy?

“He left just after lunch.” Kuroo called over his shoulder while an annoyed Kenma directed him to move his painting on the wall a little more to the left.

“Oh,” Yuuji’s traitorous mouth betrayed his disappointment. “Okay, I’ll be leaving then.”

“Hang on!” Kuroo waved him over, ignoring his boyfriend’s sigh. “He said if you came around asking, I should give you his number.”

Kuroo handed him a slip of paper. Yuuji gaped down at the slip, hating himself just a little bit for listening to that guy’s cheap compliments.

He shoved it into his pocket where he vowed it’ll never see the light of day again.

+++

A week later, Yuuji was stenciling a new project while listening to the news about a thwarted armed bank robbery, when his phone started ringing. He answered without looking at the caller ID. “This is Terushima speaking.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

Yuuji paused to glance at the unknown number. “Sorry, who is this?”

“You wound me, Terushima! This is Suguru Daishou. We met at-”

“How did you get my number?” Yuuji pinched the bridge of his nose. This can’t be happening.

“I asked Sawamura, duh. More importantly, I thought you had my number. How did you not know this was me?”

Yuuji fought the urge to hang up. “What do you wa-?”

“Let’s meet up!”

“What?”

“Let’s go out! I mean… Let’s meet up and do something. Like a date or something.”

“A date.”

“Yeah. I think I’m attracted to you.”

Yuuji picked his next words carefully. “But. I’m. Not.”

Suddenly, Daishou’s voice seemed far away but loud, as if he was shouting away from the microphone. Yuuji couldn’t really understand him but realized he was speaking in an entirely different language that was possibly arabic. When he returned, Yuuji was too confused to really know how to react.

“Sorry, uhm… can I call you back? Or uhh, let’s make a date. This Saturday at four sounds okay?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“Great! I mean- okay. Yeah! See you Saturday, Yuuji!”

“See you…”

The fact that he had a date with Suguru Daishou didn’t click with Yuuji until about a minute later when he was penning the event into his calendar.

Oh God.

He slumped over his desk.

When was the last time he even had a real date? Atsumu? America? Does he really even want to go? Yuuji was pretty certain he wasn’t ready for another serious relationship.

But maybe this will be good! He’ll humor the asshole for one night and then they’ll split ways, never to speak to each other again.

Maybe it’ll be fun.

+++

That Saturday, 3:00 on the dot, Yuuji received a text message from Daishou that he was going to pick him up from his shop. Yuuji gave his employees a day off so by 3:45, he was showered, dressed, and ready to go. He wasn’t sure where they were headed but he figured a casual t-shirt and his leather jacket would be good enough.

At 4, Yuuji tried not to pace around his apartment. He checked for his wallet and keys for the twentieth time. By 4:15, he was convinced he’s been stood-up and was immensely relieved until just a minute later he got a text message from Daishou saying he was waiting outside.

Yuuji did not run.

“Sorry I’m late. You look good.” Daishou smirked as Yuuji climbed into the passenger seat of a simple black sedan. Yuuji noticed one of his arms was in a sling but chose not to say anything; though he wondered if Daishou should be driving.

Yuuji preened, as if he was used to the attention (which he was). “Thanks. Where are we going?”

Daishou carefully turned into the heavy city traffic. Though he was only working with one hand, his movements were smooth and confident. “I was thinking we carry on an age-old tradition. How does a movie and dinner sound?”

“Depends on the movie.”

“I knew you’d say that.” Daishou winked. At the next stop light he reached over to his glove compartment and handed Yuuji a crumpled piece of paper. It was a flyer to a drive-in theater event. A different movie was playing every evening and it just so happened that Saturday night was Toy Story night.

Yuuji glanced back and forth between the flyer and the man. The longer he looked, the more confused he got.

“It starts at six but I want to get there early so we can get a good spot. Have you ever been to a drive-in theater before?”

“Nah,” Yuuji swallowed, trying to find his equilibrium. “I didn’t even know they still existed.”

“Me neither!” Daishou glanced at Yuuji as if they were sharing some inside joke. His tongue was again pressed between the lips of his smile. “Do you like Toy Story?”

Yuuji smirked, despite himself. “Never seen it.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

Daishou frowned at the cars in front of him. Yuuji couldn’t decide if he was silent because he couldn’t believe it or because he couldn’t think of anything to say.

“You okay there? Did I break you?”

“It’s just…” Daishou pretended to weep. Yuuji stopped feeling sorry for him. “You must have had a terrible childhood.”

“Whatever. Can I roll down the windows? I hate the smell of air conditioner.”

“Yeah, sure. Do you want the radio too?”

Yuuji shrugged. “Go for it,” and rolled down the window. He stuck his head out and breathed the toxic air of polluted Tokyo. He closed his eyes, letting the cool wind pull back the hair from his face and the noise of cars and people and life wash over him. He felt small. Insignificant. The middle piece of a puzzle of the sky.

Daishou sung along to an American pop song Yuuji couldn’t remember the name of. His voice was nice to listen to, even if he didn’t actually know all the words.

“Did you like America?” He asked between a particularly difficult rap.

Yuuji leaned back into his seat. Feeling cocky, he rested his feet on the dashboard. “It was alright. Different. Exciting. But nothing beats home.”

Daishou glared at his feet but didn’t say anything. “I know what you mean. I think I’ve lived in every continent but Antarctica and for some reason, I always end up coming back here. Maybe fate is telling me I have something to do here.”

Yuuji didn’t have anything to say to that because a part of him understood what he meant. They drove the rest of the way in relative silence which honestly wasn’t so bad.

They reached the edge of town where a massive screen was set up in the center of a field. Cars were already parked in marked stalls along the grass. Daishou was excited by a particular spot near the middle where miraculously no one else was parked. He told Yuuji a friend of his assured maximum experience was at the center, but Yuuji honestly didn’t care as long as he could see the movie.

Daishou got out of his car and stretched a bit. He lifted his injured arm and winced. “I’m going to set the radio frequency. Do you mind if you could get us something to eat? Anything warm for me is fine. Popcorn is cool too.”

Yuuji accepted his twenty-dollar bill with no intention of using it and headed towards the lunch trucks at the perimeter of the field. He walked down the line, trying to decide what he felt like having that night.

Admittedly, the date seemed to be going… fine? Tolerable? It was only the start but Yuuji had no complaints. Daishou acted nothing like how Yuuji thought a big-time music producer would act so that was nice too.

He reached the far end of the line far away from the other trucks where he found an old ramen truck. The line wasn’t long so he didn’t mind settling.

He was perusing the menu when he realized the line hadn’t moved for the past couple minutes. The old man behind the counter was moving stiffly and the two figures at the front have been oddly silent. They were both wearing hoodies and unfortunately it was already too dark to see what they were doing.

Something was wrong.

He spoke up before his brain caught up with his stupid mouth. “You okay, old man?”

The ramen cook waved him off a little too nonchalantly. “One moment, sir.”

Yuuji eyed the two figures and made a split-second decision. “Excuse me-”

He didn’t even finish before he found himself shoved against the side of the truck with a sharp instrument being pressed into his side. One of the hooded figures crowded close. “You move or scream, and you leave here in an ambulance.” Judging by the voice, the figure was a woman, but Yuuji knew that made no difference. He glanced over at the other hooded figure who just so happened to have a gun pointing at the poor ramen cook.

Despite the situation, Yuuji was calm. When he looked back at that moment hours later he wondered how he didn’t shit himself. “Okay, I promise I won’t do anything. Just don’t shoot him.”

“We won’t.” The other figure spoke, also a woman. “As long as he gives us what we want.”

Yuuji looked back towards the cook who was silently preparing numerous bowls of ramen. He then looked at the two women again. Their determined expressions burned itself into his memory. “I could pay for those if you want. How much are you asking for?”

The woman holding the knife to his ribs shoved at him roughly. “Shut up. This’ll be over soon.”

Yuuji listened for once. He flexed his palms, thinking fast, but he was out of ideas. Maybe he’ll pay the ramen cook for them when they left? But who’s to stop them from hurting him now? Yuuji would like very much not to be stabbed that night.

There was a click. A glimmer. Suddenly, a gun was pressed against the temple of the woman against him. Yuuji almost didn’t register the voice. “Please release my date.”

The woman was so close, Yuuji could see the sheer panic in her eyes. The other woman gasped, nearly dropping her gun as Daishou rounded from behind the shadow of the ramen truck. He was smiling, but no humor was behind those narrow eyes. The tongue pressed between his lips seemed darkly ironic. A chill ran down Yuuji’s spine.

Before Yuuji could react, the woman holding him shrieked and launched herself at Daishou. He dodged easily and brought the butt of his gun down on the back of her neck, effectively knocking her out. He stumbled a bit when she hooked herself on his sling on her way down, but he recovered easily, relatively untouched.

“Yuuji,” he called.

Yuuji jumped. “Y-Yeah?”

He motioned with his gun and Yuuji hurried behind him, not caring how much of a bitch that made him look. Daishou fixed the end of his barrel at the woman. “Leave.”

She looked at him and then at her friend on the ground. She swallowed back her tears. “Please… We need the food…”

Daishou seemed unaffected, his smile frozen. “I said leave.”

“Hey, Daishou.” Yuuji took a chance and touched the hand holding the gun. Daishou flinched. “Maybe we should let her take the food? I’ll pay for it. No harm done.”

He frowned. “If we let criminals escape without penalty, they’ll only do it again.”

Yuuji hesitated. He had a point, but not for this. “They aren’t criminals. They’re just hungry. The old man doesn’t mind. Right, old man?”

The ramen cook grunted.

“See?” Yuuji inched in front of his date. He took another chance and pushed Daishou’s arm until the gun was pointing to the ground. “Please don’t kill anybody.”

Daishou blinked and stared at him as if he was a new species of human being.

Yuuji saw Daishou too. He saw the practiced ease of his fingers grasping the handle of the firearm. He wasn’t even shaking. He felt how those narrow eyes saw everything around him and noticed how that smile was a mask rather than an instrument of expression. This was not a music producer.

Many painful seconds later, Daishou huffed, almost angrily, and yanked his arm away. He tucked his gun beneath his shirt. “Relax, I wasn’t going to shoot her.”

“Oh…”

The woman burst into tears. She accepted the packaged ramen noodles from the cook and let Yuuji pay the fifty-some bill. He tossed in Daishou’s twenty, in spite or for symbolism, he couldn’t even tell himself. He then helped carry the unconscious woman to their car and waved them off. The sun had halfway disappeared by the time they left, and Yuuji knew he and Daishou didn’t have much time before the movie started. Daishou had been waiting for him quietly next to the ramen truck.

Yuuji was about to ask if he’d like ramen or if they should just get popcorn, but then he noticed the other man’s shoulder was soaked red.

“You’re bleeding! What happened?”

Daishou blinked, glancing at his shoulder as if it didn’t belong to him. “Oh. My stitches must’ve opened.”

Yuuji replayed the entire incident through his mind and realized the woman falling onto his arm must have done more damage than he thought. “We need to go to the hospital.”

“But the movie…” He pouted. “I wanted you to watch Toy Story.”

Yuuji rolled his eyes and grabbed his other uninjured arm. He led the way back to the car. “We can watch it some other time. I’ll drive.”

Daishou let himself be dragged back and manhandled into the passenger’s seat. He used his other hand and made sure to keep pressure over the expanding red area.

“I don’t know if I want my life to be in your hands. Are you sure you can drive?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Yuuji buckled himself in angrily. “I got my license first-try, and I haven’t been in an accident once!”

Daishou’s sly smirk returned with a vengeance despite the obvious discomfort he was in. “I’m just saying I don’t want to tempt fate.”

Yuuji thought about shoving him out and leaving him in the dirt, but that’d be counterproductive. Instead he revved the engine and navigated through the field back towards the city. Yuuji hadn’t driven for awhile, but driving is like riding a bike or a first love. You don’t ever really forget.

Daishou was the first to break the silence. “I bet you’re wondering why I have a gun.”

“Sort of.” Yuuji stared determinedly at the road in front of him. “You don’t have to tell me though.”

“Really?” Daishou was not impressed. “How do you not know that I'm not a mobster or a drug dealer?”

“Please,” Yuuji snorted. “If we let criminals escape without penalty, they’ll only do it again. I don’t know where you got such a bullshit line from, but a criminal probably wouldn’t say something like that.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah, sorry. You’re not as bad as you thought you were.” Yuuji punched a random button on the radio and another unfamiliar pop song started playing. It blanketed the awkward silence and Yuuji hoped the conversation was dropped.

Truthfully, the gun didn’t terrify him as much as the man himself. That smile… the casual way he held himself… the raw energy… It still unnerved Yuuji. He wanted to return to their comfortable silences and semi-easy conversation, but he wasn’t sure he knew how.

Eventually they arrived at the hospital emergency room where they only had to wait twenty minutes before a nurse escorted them both to an examination room. They played twenty questions to pass the time; as if knowing Yuuji’s favorite color (green) or Daishou’s tea preference (jasmine) made up for the fact that one of them needed new stitches and the other was still coming down from an adrenaline high.

Daishou forced him to face away when the nurse removed his shirt. He declared he was still “saving himself” for someone special. Yuuji figured he just wanted Yuuji to look like an idiot staring at a blank wall, but he humored him and did it anyways.

“So would you say this was your worst first-date ever?” Daishou asked. They were finally released and heading back to the car. He was admiring his new blood-free arm sling. It was gold and he chose it because it supposedly matched Yuuji’s eyes.

Yuuji climbed after him into the passenger’s seat. He ignored the bloodstain on the backrest. “Not really. It could have been worse.”

“Worse?”

“It could’ve been boring.”

Daishou burst out laughing, and Yuuji couldn’t help but join him. He decided he liked hearing Daishou laugh. “That’s true! Boring dates are the worst; and so are dates where you starve. Are you hungry? The restaurants are still open.”

Yuuji glanced pointedly at Daishou’s bloody shirt. “I don’t think we should.” He hesitated. Stay strong, Yuuji. “Maybe we can go back to my place? I think I have some stuff in my fridge…”

“Is that a proposition?” Yuuji wasn’t ready for Daishou’s quick response nor the full blast of his most condescending smirk.

“No, you asshole.” Yuuji snapped. “It was an invitation to have dinner at my place as a compromise to eating out because someone fucked up and re-opened his stitches.” Yuuji realized his hands were balled into fists and he forced himself to relax. “Do you want to or not?”

Daishou sobered immediately. Yuuji had never seen someone so shocked by something he had said.

“You just called me an asshole.” His tone was difficult to understand like his expressions. “Not many people do that to my face.”

Yuuji shrugged, trying to look nonchalant while berating himself on the inside. Maybe he shouldn’t have said all that. It wasn’t like Daishou was acting any differently than before and he was probably only joking like usual.

Daishou looked away, his narrow eyes crumpled inward while his tongue poked thoughtfully from between his lips. Yuuji fidgeted, wondering whether he should apologize.

“Yeah,” Yuuji jumped, not realizing how on-edge he was before Daishou spoke. “I would love to have dinner with you.”

Yuuji relaxed, nearly laughing aloud. He almost missed that Daishou was smiling too. “Good. Now let’s get going. I’m hungry.”

“Yes, sir,” Daishou shifted gears and navigated back onto the main road. He rolled the windows down and adjusted the volume of his dumb pop music. No wonder he sucked so much as a DJ.

Yuuji leaned out his window for the rest of the ride back home. He thought about the wild night he’s already had and accepted the fact that he will never be bored around Daishou even if he tried. Why did Yuuji ask him back to his place? What was he thinking?

They arrived and Yuuji directed him to a parking spot just out front. He led the way to the front door and let them both in. It was dark and Daishou politely waited for Yuuji to re-lock the bolts before saying anything. “I bet it's convenient to live where you work.”

Without thinking, Yuuji took his hand and crept through the dark and up the back stairway. “Sometimes. At least it’s cheap.”

He felt Daishou’s fingers tighten around his almost naturally. They were slim, but warm and strong, “I can’t wait to see it.”

Yuuji tried not to let his nerves get the best of him when he finally led him into his apartment and flicked on the lights. He thanked his past-self for deciding to make his bed that morning. “It’s probably not as nice as what you’re used to.” He mumbled, glancing around to avoid looking at the other man. He wasn’t sure what he was afraid of. “But it’s home.”

Daishou tugged at his hand and started rubbing the back of his palm in a gesture so sweet, Yuuji refused to believe it was actually happening. “Why are you acting so embarrassed all of a sudden? This place is wonderful.”

“Really?”

“Yeah!” He dropped Yuuji’s hand and started flaunting around the room as if he owned the place. Yuuji tried not to laugh at how out-of-place he looked next to his water-stained wallpaper and worn wooden flooring. Daishou made a show of closely examining his television set and marble countertops. He then huffed. “Except for those windows. Those are disgusting.”

Yuuji decided to call upon his good-nature and ignored that last comment. He dropped his coat and keys onto the counter and kicked his door shut behind him. He headed into the kitchen. “Any requests? I’m thinking of breakfast for dinner.”

The other man agreed wholeheartedly. He ended up leaning over the countertop separating the kitchen and living room/bedroom; watching Yuuji work with avid interest. They discussed egg preferences and Yuuji taught him how to correctly sear bacon.

They finally settled on the floor with their plates in front of his television set. They sat cross-legged and close enough to each other for their knees to overlap.

“Sorry, I never have dinner guests so I don’t have any tables… or chairs…”

Daishou seemed oddly content. “No, this is great! Thanks for the food!”

Yuuji tried not to gawk as the previously primped asshole dug into his food with gusto. Yuuji was glad they didn’t decide to eat on his bed.

“By the way.” Yuuji said a few minutes later after a long comfortable eating silence. “Why did you tell Jino your name was Tomo?”

Daishou smirked, his tongue smoothly licking ketchup from his lips. “It’s my DJ name.”

“Oh, that makes sense.” Yuuji felt a little dumb. “I always thought your music choice was crap by the way. It still is.”

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.” He smiled sweetly as if he knew it got on Yuuji’s nerves, which he probably did.

Yuuji elbowed him in the side and reached for his remote to switch on the 8:00 news. It was another story on the bank robbery that happened earlier that week and discussions about possible future attacks from outside terror groups.

Daishou shifted. “I didn’t know you watched the news.”

“I’m not sure if I should be insulted or not.”

“No, I mean.” Daishou laughed. “No one watches the news these days. I’m impressed.”

Yuuji sniffed. “I like to be a part of the world when I can. There’s too much going on to ignore and do nothing about it.”

Daishou didn’t respond for a moment, forking the last of his eggs into his mouth. He swallowed before finally speaking again. “I didn’t take you for the idealistic type either. Do you really think one man being informed is going to change anything?”

“I think,” Yuuji hesitated and hoped his next words came out the way he wanted them to, “that the more I know now, the better off I’d be to help others when I need to.”

“Like today?”

Here it was. The conversation Yuuji was hoping to avoid. “Yeah, like today.”

Daishou set his plate aside and considered him. “Were you scared?”

“No,” Yuuji replied honestly. “I was more afraid for them than of them.”

“They were the one pointing a gun at you.”

Yuuji wasn’t going to admit that Daishou was the one who was scary, no way. However, it seemed like his hesitation said it all.

The other man sighed, suddenly looking tired. “So I’m guessing you’ve figured out that I’m not actually a music producer.”

Yuuji nodded. No sense in hiding it now.

“So you also know that I’ve been lying to you.” Uncertainty didn’t look right on him. “Does that bother you?”

“Not really.” He was surprised he meant that. “I figure you have a good reason for it.”

“I do.”

“Then that’s okay.” Yuuji shrugged, hoping the conversation was finally over.

“Aren’t you curious though?”

Yuuji resisted the immense urge to roll his eyes. “Look, Daishou. If you haven’t told me by now, it must be pretty damn important for you to keep it a secret, so I respect that as long as it doesn’t jeopardize our relationship-”

“It doesn’t.”

“Then good. I don’t need to know. I think I have an idea what it is by now anyways.”

Daishou leaned in, catching Yuuji off-balance. His sly smirk had returned and that damn tongue was once again creased between his lips. “So you want to have a relationship?”

Shit. Yuuji replayed the last five seconds of his life and wished he knew how to think before he said anything. There was no holding back now, “Maybe. Only if you want to.”

“I do.”

“Fine,” Yuuji ignored every ounce of survival instinct within him that was telling him he was making the biggest mistake of his life. “We’re in a relationship.”

“Yay! Can we kiss now?”

“I don’t kiss on the first date.”

“But you kissed all those other guys at the club.” He pouted.

“If you think kissing those guys meant anything to me, we should end this thing with us right now.”

“No! Sorry. I can wait.”

“Good,” Yuuji grinned. Getting a high after finally winning a one-up over the other man was a bad way to start off a relationship, but then he decided he didn’t care. “Now it’s getting late. I think it’s about time you get home.” Yuuji heaved the other man off his floor and pushed him towards his apartment door.

“I don’t wanna go!”

“Sorry!” Yuuji laughed, shoving him down the staircase step-by-step. “I don’t give a damn what you want until the second date.”

By the time they reached the front door of the shop, Yuuji was out of breath and Daishou was dead-weight atop of him. Daishou righted himself after Yuuji opened the door. He thanked him for his assistance down the stairs. Yuuji didn’t even have the energy to glare.

The other man smirked again and before Yuuji could stop him, he leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “See you around, sunshine.”

Stunned, Yuuji could only watch as Suguru Daishou climbed into his sedan and drove away.

He traced the ghost of his lips against his cheek…

“What an asshole…”

+++

Yuuji did let Suguru kiss him on their second date. Granted, it wasn’t much of a kiss since both of them were drunk out of their minds and stranded in the middle of a lake; but it was a great story to tell Rintarou when the police dropped them off at his shop the next morning.

Suguru kissed him every day they saw each other, which was literally every day. He made a point to come by every morning before Yuuji’s work with a cup of coffee and a hearty, “Good morning, sunshine!” despite the fact that he knew Yuuji hated mornings. Yuuji still wasn’t sure whether Daishou was trying to brighten his day, or ruin it. Probably both.

When Rintarou first met Suguru after their first week, he distrusted him immediately and was sure to tell him so. Suguru pretended not to mind, but since that day he brought not only Yuuji’s coffee in the morning, but Rintarou’s as well.

After Suguru’s arm healed completely, he began working again. Sometimes he would disappear. Yuuji wouldn’t see him for days, or for an entire week until he’d come back with a copper tan and postcards from South America.

Yuuji pretended that it didn’t bother him and told Suguru the story about the one time he got lost in Peru and lived with llama farmers for two months instead.

For their third “official” date two months into their relationship, Yuuji took Suguru to his favorite sweet shop.

“So where exactly do you live?” Yuuji licked the end of his spoon, his tongue piercing glided along the smooth surface. He hoped it looked as sexual as he thought it did.

Suguru shrugged, sucking his own spoon in response. He had just gotten back from Afghanistan earlier that week and was sporting a military-cut that looked a lot sexier than Yuuji would have admitted out loud.

“In a room.”

“I meant where.” Yuuji scooped another wad of ice cream into his mouth.

Suguru considered the question, his tongue absentmindedly peeking through his lips. Yuuji wanted to kiss him. “Anywhere?”

“You don’t have a home?” Yuuji was sensing he was stepping in dangerous territory but he asked anyways.

“Not really.” The other man smiled wryly. “I guess you’ll just have to be my home.”

“What is that supposed to mean? You can’t live with me.”

“Home is where the heart is.”

“You’re creeping me out.”

“Yuuji! You know I love you!”

“Whatever, Suguru. Say that to me again when you mean it.”

+++

On the day of their three-month anniversary, they didn’t even make it out of Yuuji’s apartment.

All he remembered was that he was bending over, fixing his shoelaces, when suddenly he was being shoved against his front door. Suguru’s mouth immediately found the sweet-spot at the juncture of his neck and shoulder blade. Yuuji couldn’t help but keen. He grinded back against Suguru’s hips.

“Stop that.” The other man growled, his tongue unintentionally licking a stripe across Yuuji’s earlobe.

Oh, that tongue-

Yuuji arched back. He ran his hands through the other man’s hair. It had grown back to its lush glory and Yuuji was going to make the most of it. “Make me.”

Suguru growled and soon Yuuji found himself being forcefully tossed onto his own mattress. Suguru stalked after him and then stopped at the edge. His narrow eyes promised to eat Yuuji alive in every way possible.

“Strip.”

Yuuji, never body-shy, raced to comply until he was on his back, fully naked and wanting. He grinned, knowing Suguru was the type to love a challenge. “You can’t expect me to do all the work, snakey-boy.”

He knew how much Suguru hated that nickname and was rewarded by his best smirk. The one that killed lesser-beings and made children cry. “Actually, that is exactly what I intend to do, sweetheart.”

Yuuji shivered.

“Come here. Crawl.”

Yuuji complied, knowing how much Suguru loved getting off on a power trip as much as he did. Crawling was embarrassing, but he tried not to show that on his face and moved until his face was just beside the other man’s hips.

“Unzip my pants. Carefully, please. And then pull out my cock.”

Yuuji sat back on his knees and slowly unzipped the other man’s pants. He then pulled down Suguru’s boxer-briefs until his cock sprung free, long and dripping. Suguru’s warm hands rubbed up over his arms until they rested heavily atop his shoulders. He felt his fingers trace along his tattoos.

The man above him groaned, frustrated by the fact that Yuuji didn’t even touch him yet. Yuuji made sure Suguru could tell how proud he was of himself when he finally sat back onto his knees and pretended to cluelessly wait for further instructions. They both ignored the precum also beading on Yuuji’s cock.

“Yuuji,” Suguru spoke through gritted teeth. He was looking down at him through his perfect hair that was not so perfect for once. The fixed smile was dangerous and terrifying and Yuuji was so glad they decided to stay home instead of going to that concert.

“Yes, sir?”

“Open your mouth.”

Yuuji tried not to giggle and opened his mouth ridiculously wide, making sure to wiggle his tongue piercing. “Like dis?”

“Perfect. Now, I want those pretty lips around my dick. Any questions?”

“Yes, actually I do have one- mmphf.” Yuuji winced, almost choking and nearly pulled away. Suguru froze above him. His hips were shaking and tense and Yuuji was overcome by an odd fondness in his chest by the weird moment of consideration.

Yuuji pulled one of Suguru’s hands from his shoulder and placed it on his head before taking one long breath and running the stud in his tongue along the underside of his boyfriend’s cock while taking his as far as he could.

Suguru whined, “Yuuji… Yuuji can I start? Can I fuck your mouth?”

Yuuji grabbed the base of Suguru and nodded just before he bucked his hips.

He must have already been close because the thrusts were quick and brutal. Yuuji fought for some sense of control, but only found himself clutching to Suguru’s hips for dear life. He hollowed his cheeks and pressed his piercing deeper and around the pistoning dick.

The only warning he got before Suguru came were the final little desperate thrusts and a particularly painful yank on his hair. Yuuji tried his best to swallow it all before Suguru was shoving him back on his back and covering him with all of him. He jerked him off until he came just as quickly. Suguru kissed him and Yuuji felt some sort of satisfaction in knowing he was still tasting himself in Suguru’s mouth.

They broke apart, breathless and a little bit stunned.

“It looks like our first fuck was just as messy as our first kiss.” Yuuji mused, his voice embarrassingly rough.

Suguru shrugged. “I have no complaints.”

“Me neither. Round two?”

“Let’s do it.”

+++

“Morning, sunshine.”

“No, please don’t do this to me…”

“I thought you liked that nickname.”

Yuuji blinked blearily and groaned when Suguru’s annoying face crowded in front of him. He had been staying over more often and although that meant more fun-times, it also meant he’d have to deal with a morning person. Yuuji rolled away and buried himself into his sheets, hoping that maybe his stupid boyfriend would get a clue for once.

He didn’t and was now laying completely on top of him. “I want pancakes for breakfast.”

“I want my boyfriend to be less of an asshole.” Yuuji grumbled. “Guess we’ll both be disappointed.”

The other man sighed and for once was silent. He dug a bit and settled himself around Yuuji, making sure to give him kisses all over. He felt his fingers and lips trace the pictures on his back. “Sorry.”

Yuuji let himself be manhandled and adored, telling himself he deserved it since Suguru always got what he wanted in the end. He was charting the quickest route to the nearest pancake house when Suguru was kissing him again, but just a little more earnestly.

Something was wrong.

“Yuuji,” Suguru whispered into his shoulder blade, his breath was warm and familiar. “I’m being sent abroad for work again.”

“Yeah?” Yuuji worked to sound excited. This was the first time Suguru was warning him beforehand and was hoping it meant Suguru was finally trusting him. “Where-to this time?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Oh…” Stay strong. “How long will you be gone?”

“I can’t tell you that either.”

Yuuji felt his patience thinning. “I see…”

They were both still. The sounds of the city remained distant beyond Yuuji’s filthy glass windows. The windows Suguru hated so much.

He was afraid to ask, but he needed to know. He wished he could see his face. “Are you coming back at all?”

“I don’t want to lie to you.”

Suguru’s arms tightened around him. Yuuji laced their fingers together. He thought about how rough Suguru’s hands were and the old wounds on his wrists. The long pale lashes across his back were a secret they both kept and never talked about just like Yuuji’s tattoos. Except tattoos weren’t scars.

“Okay…”

+++

The next morning, Suguru did not come, which did not go unnoticed to Rintarou. He looked up from his morning newspaper. The headline declared unrest in a city on the other side of the world. “Snakey-boy out of the country again?”

Yuuji flinched, but remembered to smile. “Nah, we just had so much fun last night, he couldn’t get out of bed.” Which was a third of the way true.

As expected, Rintarou didn’t look like he bought it, but let the subject drop. “So how are you planning on spending your weekends from now on?”

“Jacking off. You?”

“Maybe you should take-up a hobby. Like knitting.”

“Maybe I can knit a sock that I can jack-off into.”

“Fuck off, Yuuji.” Rintarou huffed, returning to his newspaper. “I was trying to help.”

“Yeah,” Yuuji smiled at the other man fondly. “Rintarou, when are you going to find someone special?”

“When I decide to.”

“You’re no fun.”

A customer walked through the door and Rintarou waved Yuuji away, “I don’t need a special someone. I’ve already got my hands full taking care of your ass.”

“You’re the best, Rintarou!”

“Whatever.”

+++

By the second week, Yuuji finally understood Rintarou’s point about getting a hobby. Going out to lunch with Sawamura or staying at home all day eating cheetos could only entertain him for so long. Watching the news every night didn’t help either. All he could think about was whether Suguru was still alive or not.

He started taking walks around the city to places he had never been to and tried out new restaurants he had never heard of before. He thought a lot about life during that time and about how in the span of half a year, Suguru became a permanent fixture in Yuuji’s existence. It’s amazing what one person could change in the life of another.

He was out walking one Saturday afternoon when he passed by what looked to be an animal shelter. He remembered having a dog when he was a kid and a small ball of warmth in his chest pulled him through the front doors.

An hour later, Yuuji was leaving with not a dog, but a cat. She was a young, fat tortoiseshell that didn’t say much and ran away when he first looked at her. The workers told him that no one wanted her because she was shy and skittish around new people, but assured him that all she needed was a quiet and loving home.

He named her Tomo.

+++

Exactly one month after Suguru’s disappearance, Yuuji was kidnapped.

He was walking through the park when suddenly everything went dark and he was being wrapped and manhandled into the back of a vehicle. No one spoke. No one touched him. Yuuji tried not to panic and thought about the knife he carried in his back pocket.

Before he could act, the van stopped and he was being dragged onto solid ground. His kidnappers walked him silently into a building and after a few winding twists and turns, he was shoved into a chair. Just after the slam of a door, the bag was being pulled off his head which finally allowed Yuuji to finally see his surroundings.

He blinked away his temporary blindness and carefully took in the bleached, windowless room. They didn’t tie him to anything, and he was alone except for another man who was critically staring him down. Yuuji tried not to be intimidated.

The man was leaning his back against the wall. He was imposing in a way that reminded Yuuji of Suguru. He had spiked hair and eyes so focused, they almost seemed bored.

He wasted no time. “My name is Kuguri, I am Daishou’s… roommate. You must be Yuuji Terushima.”

Yuuji could only nod since he was still trying to process what was happening.

The man, Kuguri, showed no expression, kind of how Daishou used to look at him. It was unnerving. “Daishou asked us to keep an eye on you and told us that if he was gone over a month to give you a letter. Will you accept it?”

Yuuji swallowed the dryness from his mouth. “Yeah. Yes, please.”

Kuguri pulled an envelope from his vest pocket and handed it to Yuuji. It was plain but taped shut and creased as if it had been opened and closed numerous times. “I’ll give you some privacy. Just give us a knock when you’re ready to go home.”

Yuuji dimly heard the door slam shut.

He wasted no time tearing through the tape and pulled out the folded pieces of parchment that were thick to the touch. When he unfolded them, he realized they weren’t letters, but official documents.

A will and testament.

Deeds to lands in America.

A bank card.

“What the fuck.”

Yuuji couldn’t believe it.

He was done. He needed to leave.

“Let me out!” He pounded against the door until Kuguri opened it. Yuuji shoved the envelope and documents into his chest. “Take me home. This was a waste of time.”

Kuguri blinked, but he didn’t ask any questions. Another bag was put over Yuuji’s head and soon he was dropped on the sidewalk in front of his home. He shoved his way through his shop and stomped up to his apartment door. He forgot he got a new lock he installed just after Suguru left and nearly screamed when it took him forever to get his door open.

He collapsed in the middle of his mattress, not giving a single fuck about his newly washed sheets. Tomo snuck out from her pile of cat mattresses and padded her way over to her owner. She snuggled into his chest and purred.

Yuuji held on to her. She meowed and Yuuji felt a small piece of the emptiness fill.

He laid there until the sun disappeared and the city overtook the darkness.

He should really clean those windows.

“Fucking asshole.”

+++

Within the five months since Suguru disappeared, Yuuji found some sense of equilibrium in his life. On weekdays he worked. On weekends he walked or went out with friends. He and Rintarou even planned a party to celebrate Takeharu’s and Nobuyoshi’s second year anniversary.

Some days however, Yuuji couldn’t find it in himself to talk to anyone and he simply stayed at home with Tomo. He watched shitty reality T.V. and sketched until his hand couldn’t move anymore. Sometimes he even watched the news. No one mentioned Suguru anymore, not even Sawamura; though Yuuji had often caught Kuroo staring at him as if he wanted to say something.

Yuuji reminded himself that he should be used to men walking out on him by now. He tried to feel angry or bitter, but he couldn’t find it within him to resent Suguru. Despite everything, Suguru was one of the best things to have ever happened to him.

Yuuji could not believe he wasn’t coming back. Suguru was still alive, and Yuji will wait for him as long as he needed to.

On the morning of May 1st, the sixth month after Suguru’s disappearance, Yuuji received an invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Bobata’s baby shower celebration. Yuuji had nearly forgotten about that section of his lifetime and he laughed at the irony. Of course, when his new life fell to shit, his old life came back to haunt him.

“I got one too.” Rintarou adjusted the portfolio displays out of habit. “You wanna go together? It says we could bring a plus-one and since neither of us have anyone…”

That was the closest anyone had ever mentioned Suguru in a while. “Sure. That sounds like fun!” Yuuji tacked the invitation on the wall next to his workstation. “We should wear matching outfits. It’ll be cute.”

“Whatever, as long as it’s not black. You wear it all the time and it depresses me.”

“Noted.”

The day was as busy as any other day. They closed by 11 and Yuuji figured he could take a short walk before getting ready for bed.

The early autumn chill nipped at his ears and Yuuji was reminded of a time that seemed almost a lifetime ago. He breathed in the night air and listened to the busy city he couldn’t help but love. He let himself melt into the friday night crowd. Faceless. Anonymous.

Satisfied, he headed home, letting his mind wander to what he was planning on having for dinner that night and whether he should head to the pet store the next day to get Tomo more food. It wasn’t until he was turning the knob of his apartment when he realized something was amiss.

It was unlocked.

Yuuji has been kidnapped enough times to know how to be more aware of his surroundings. He reached into his back pocket and slid his pocket-knife into his palm while slowly easing his door open. He squinted into the darkness of his room and inwardly berated himself for never cleaning his windows.

In the end, the intruder was comically easy to find. He was seated on Yuuji’s mattress, looking towards the doorway as if he was waiting for him to come home.

Yuuji’s knife slipped from his fingers.

“Suguru?”

The man tensed and bowed in on himself. Yuuji’s eyes finally adjusted to the darkness. He took in how his shirt was creased and his hair was overgrown. Even in the darkness Yuuji could see how the skin around his face was crusty and creased. Bags weighed heavy beneath his eyes.

Yuuji had imagined endlessly the ways he’d react when Suguru finally came home. Every single fantasy started with some triumphant return and ended with some hot and heavy fucking. Yuuji thought that when he saw him, he’d feel the anger he was supposed to feel. The Suguru in his mind was not the man he was seeing now; a man curled up in the dark.

Yuuji had never seen him so defeated.

He closed his apartment door and stepped carefully across his wooden flooring. A part of him was still afraid that the man was some cruel illusion. Suguru remained silent.

Yuuji stopped in front of him and wrapped his arms around the other man’s head, mostly to be sure he was real and because he knew that some people needed more than words.

“Did you save the world?” He whispered out into the darkness.

To his immense and utter relief, Suguru relaxed against him. His arms wrapped securely around Yuuji’s waist and suddenly Yuuji was crying because they weren’t holding him as strong as he used to.

“Yeah.”

Yuuji twisted his fingers through Suguru’s hair and closed his eyes. Yes. This was real.

He smiled to no one in particular.

“My hero.”

Suguru’s real laugh was better than the memory. It rumbled familiarly against Yuuji’s tummy. “And you’re mine.”

“Am I?” Yuuji looked down at his face and felt like he was falling in love all over again. He was smiling Yuuji’s favorite smile, the one that crinkled the corners of his eyes. His tongue pressed between his cracked lips.

“Yeah. You were always there, like the sun. Even in the dark.”

“I thought about you everyday.”

“I missed you.”

Yuuji let him drag them both down onto his mattress. Suguru kissed him and wiped away his tears with his calloused fingers.

“It’s okay. You’re home now.” Yuuji’s hands traced his shoulders, his back, his face. Everything he’d nearly forgotten.

Suguru let him. “I’m home… I’m home…”

Yuuji kissed him as if to give him the love of all six months at once. “I can’t believe you came back to me.”

“I tried.” He whispered back. “But there were times I didn’t know if I could.”

Yuuji grit his teeth, knowing he was crying openly now.

Suguru breathed deep and kissed him again in every place Yuuji let him because he wasn’t about to let him go again anytime soon. “I’m so sorry Yuuji.”

“It’s okay now-”

“No.” He shook his head and buried his face into his shoulder. Suguru had never been this clingy before. If it was any other circumstance, Yuuji would have enjoyed it. “I’m sorry you waited for me. You shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have- With you- We were a mistake-”

Yuuji cut him off with another long kiss. He couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry at him.

“Shut up.” He brushed Suguru’s fringe from his eyes, feeling the course texture of unwashed hair. “Of course we were a mistake. We were a really bad idea from the start. Did you only figure this out now?”

That earned him a laugh. “I did.”

“I was always the smart one in this relationship, so I guess that isn’t much of a surprise.”

“You are.”

Yuuji bit his lip. “Stop being so nice. I’m getting creeped out.”

“Sorry.”

Somehow they still fit together perfectly, even with time stretching a chasm between their hearts and the residual ache still in his soul every time he saw the desperation still in Suguru’s tears.

Through his stained windows, the city seemed so far away; and as Suguru settled with his hands still tangled in Yuuji’s shirt, Yuuji wished the world would stay behind those windows forever and never take Suguru away and hurt him ever again.

He said this aloud into the darkness, hoping someone more important than him would hear him.

He knew that it wasn’t a realistic dream.

By the way Suguru still held on to him, and by the soft kiss placed into Yuuji’s temple that said so many unsaid things, Suguru knew so too.

They stayed that way until they were both asleep and until the sun rose and started a new day through the windows Suguru hated so much and the glass Yuuji decided he will most definitely never clean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, art credit goes to @aurigae_arts
> 
> [EDIT NOTE: I can't seem to get ao3 to post my picture so I'll just have to honestly deal with it later when I'm not completely exhausted. I'll be back to post it in the future!]


	3. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot I wrote one more part lol. It’s kind of weird but I might as well post it.
> 
> Enjoy~

Yuuji liked taking walks.

He always asked me to join him, even though I could tell he actually never wanted me to.

Yuuji had an unusual amount of knowledge about potatoes.

He told me he spent a long time travelling through South America, and once in awhile he’d get a letter from a family in Peru or Argentina that he would then save in a box he kept in his closet.

Yuuji thought toys were fun. 

He bought me a cockring for our anniversary. That was the moment I knew he was perfect.

Yuuji always knew when I was lying.

When I did, he'd smile, because he knew it came with the job. It wasn’t a real smile.

Yuuji loved me.

He was the first and last person I wanted to see in my day. He was the one I wanted to know everything about. He knew me the most.

He was my sunshine.

Yuuji never asked me about my scars.

“Hey look down.” He nudged my head forward. I could feel his long fingers pull through my hair. Our eyes met in the mirror and I grinned.

He looked unimpressed and a little bit suspicious. “What?”

I snagged the hand tugging at my fringe and kissed the crescent moon on his ring finger. “Don't cut it too short this time.”

Yuuji yanked his hand away. “I'll cut it the way I want and you’re going to like it.”

I laughed. “Yes, dear.”

He pushed my head forward again. I relaxed to the monotonous snip… snip… of the scissors. 

We were silent between us. Yuuji sang along to the Aretha Franklin song moaning from his phone. He didn't have the best voice, but that never stopped him.

“What are you thinking about?” He murmured just after the song ended. Prince came on next.

I opened my eyes and watched a section of my hair float past my nose. “Tomorrow.”

He hummed. “What's the occasion?”

“I'm getting promoted.”

Yuuji hesitated only a fraction too long. “Oh yeah? To what?”

“General.”

He scoffed. “Congratulations I guess? I didn't even know your ranking was that high in the first place.”

I wondered at all the empty promises I had given him and the phantom of what I must look like in his mind. “I want you to be there.”

“Where?”

“At my promotion.”

He froze. I raised my head to look at him. For once, he was speechless.

“Will you come?” I tried again.

“Why?”

“I want you to come?”

“But I thought you wouldn't want me to…” His sentence ended more like a question.

I shrugged to hide my doubt and the panic. “I want you to be there… for me. You're listed as my next of kin so I wanted you to see... Don't you want to see?”

Yuuji’s hands dropped to his sides. I reached out to hold them because they were perfect for holding. He let me, and I felt the ghost of the worst six months of my life settle around me again like a shadow.

“I'm your next of kin?”

Oh. The shadow lifted. “Yeah. Of course.”

It was amazing how quickly his face turned from something I couldn't understand, to something I knew completely. I fought back a grin. “Are you crying?”

“Of course I am, you piece of shit!” He tossed the scissors haphazardly into the bathroom sink before his hands are rubbing furiously at his eyes. “You... You can't just suddenly tell a guy something like this. We might as well get married!”

I laughed. “Let’s do it! And then we should get matching tattoos. I've always wanted one.”

Yuuji was laughing too at this point, so he couldn't pretend to be angry at me anymore. “Fuck it.”

I stood suddenly from the stool, the cut strands of my hair cascaded to the tile bathroom flooring. I grabbed both his hands. We were laughing stupidly now, drunk on love. “So we're getting married?”

Yuuji’s long fingers weaved between mine. The black and gray etched pretty lines along my pale skin. One of his hands came up to wipe a tear away from my cheek. When did I start crying too?

“We better be.” He mumbled, his words brought us closer until we were breathing each other’s words. “Did you want a wedding?”

I kissed his cheek because no one could stop me. “A small one.”

“Perfect.” He breathed. “And the ring?”

“Don't want one, just the tattoo right here.” I pointed at the bottom left corner of my chest. 

“You sap-”

“Of the sun.” I added quickly, and poked my tongue out from between my teeth just to be annoying.

He huffed. “Seriously? Tattoos are permanent you know.”

“That's fine, I've been thinking about this a lot. What are you getting?”

“I'm not.” He smirked just as my expression fell, “I want a ring and I'm going to put it right here.” He pointed to the upper shell of his ear where it is unpierced and unmarked. “Couple tattoos are bad luck anyways.”

I gawked and tried to imagine something so heavy hanging from his ear. “Are you sure you don't want a tattoo?”

Yuuji rolled his eyes and tugged my hands to grip around his waist so he could wrap his arms around me too. Did he gain weight? Better not mention that.

He kissed me slow and sweet. I could feel his hands trail down my back. I shivered where his fingers touched places through my shirt where my nerves had been numbed and my skin remained soft and wrinkly even after all the years they took to scab over and heal.

He felt around hills and valleys of memories I'd wish was left in the past. His fingers slid back up and circled along the collar of my shirt before settling atop my skin in the exact spot a scar ended along my neck.

He kissed me again and then I understood. I buried my head into his neck; to hide myself or to be closer to him, I didn't even know myself. I spoke into the golden balloon painted beneath his ear. “Just get a tattoo.”

“Why?”

“I want to be a part of you too. Permanently.”

“You already are.” I could feel him rolling his eyes at me. “I wanted something that is more representative of you and I dunno… we could share this like I'll share my tattoos with you? It's weird. I'm sorry it's weird.”

“You don't even know anything, Yuuji…”

He knew I didn't say that to hurt him. “That's fine.”

“I don't think I love you enough.”

“You'll have to find me the perfect ring then.” His whisper ingrained deeply into my heart and somehow warmed the numbed places left on my skin.

If I cried again, he didn't mention it.

Yuuji never asked me about my scars...


End file.
